


lying without pity

by edgaristheoneinthehole



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Betrayal, Dubious Morality, Dysfunctional Relationships, Genderfluid Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-14 11:33:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3409037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edgaristheoneinthehole/pseuds/edgaristheoneinthehole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.”<br/>― Suzanne Collins, <em>The Hunger Games</em></p>
<p>And, baby, Tony had never trusted anyone <em>less</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I may have trust issues but

**Author's Note:**

> title from the phrase "lying liar who lies", which was first used on a website called [televisionwithoutpity](http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/). chapter titles from a quote by melchor lim and, yes, this whole fic is about lying. lying and betrayal (a lot more than you'd expect but hey) and all that fun stuff.  
> also; i got literally no idea when this happens in the marvel timeline. just... dont focus on that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend.”  
> ― Jacques Derrida

AD/DC, as Tony had learned over the years, was basically to Tony what ice cream was to others. Comfort food in musical form. (And wasn’t it ironic how Tony’s comfort food wasn’t even a food? Maybe it would explain his lack of lust for sustenance. Well, when he  _hadn’t_  been kidnapped by terrorists in a cave for months. Though Tony hadn’t craved hamburgers due to hunger, no, he’d just wanted to do something that reminded him of  _America._  And a non-cave environment. Especially the latter.)

So it was surprising that Tony didn’t notice that his lab had been strangely quiet for a long while, although he’d told JARVIS just a few hours (days?) ago to play music until Tony either passed out or was dragged out by someone (unlikely, as Pepper was busy, Rhodey on tour and Happy doing  _whatever_  that guy usually did ― and wasn’t it sad that Tony had no idea what his best friends did in their freetime? ― the Avengers rarely stepped into Tony’s lab, which Tony thought he’d have to thank Rhodey for, as Pepper would never have forbidden them for doing so, thinking they’d be able to force him to take care of himself ― speaking of Rhodey, when was his birthday again? Tony needed to get him an awesome gift for that rule Tony forgot to tell the others of, maybe Pepper would know? How was Pepper doing anyw― holy shit, how had Tony not rechecked that calculation before, it was totally wrong, no wonder the experiment kept blowing up―).

Tony heard a sigh. “You know I find your brain enthralling but must you too?”

Tony blinked, looking up from the now-blurry screen he’d been staring at for two hours (at  _least_ , according to how much his eyes hurt) and forced himself to focus on his companion. Getting lost in thought in Loki’s presence usually warranted some kind of attempt at attention and Tony still hadn’t recovered from the last one (ow,  _dude_ , Loki just did not pull his, well,  _anything_ ). Tony was mostly just glad that Pepper hadn’t realised that as a way to get his attention, she’d make it even  _more_  painful, he was certain.

Loki looked only amused though, as Tony glanced at him, realising that he half-fell again. He was  _trying_ , dammit! That had to count for something. “Please tell me that wasn’t your best attempt. I might just find a better mortal.”

Tony huffed, offended.  _He_  was the best mortal around. (Except -- not really. It was nice to lie to himself and believe it for a second though.) As retaliation, Tony turned his back on the god (oh god, that wasn’t a retaliation, that was a show of  _trust_ , way to go, Tony, fucking up in ways that weren’t even possible) and looked at the screen once more, set upon ignoring the alien until Loki got huffy and annoyed.

Now, if he could just figure out how the rings (and weren’t they interesting,  _fascinating_  ones)  _worked_. Ten Rings (and, huh, guess Tony knew where they got the name from now), while giving way too much info to an enemy, didn’t explain  _shit_. Hell, Tony was half-certain that the ring in his possession was a fake, as it had been too easy to collect. Really, it was almost scary. (Raza shouldn’t have gloated so much years ― a year? god, Tony couldn’t even tell anymore ― ago, shouldn’t have admitted that the rings were sometimes temporarily given tolieutenants, as a ritual for getting their rank. Tony wondered when he got to the point where he could just casually mention Raza, like he wasn’t the reason Tony got tortured for months. Wasn’t it ironic though? How the greed of men both doomed yet saved him?)

“Stark,” Loki said ― loudly ― and Tony blinked again, turning his attention back to the other in the room, “I did have a reason for being here.”

Tony grinned, “Aw, I thought you came because you missed my―” Tony paused, realising that he’d ignored Loki for most of his visit (wasn’t accidental trust the best kind?) and couldn’t use the usual phrase of “unstoppable wit and alcoholism”, “not-chatter. Can you miss a certain kind of silence? It feels like it’s possible, y’know? Isn’t that a song? JARVIS, check if that’s a song.”

“It is sadness, sir,” came the electronic voice after a few seconds (slow, Tony would have to look into JARVIS’ search function) and Tony was disappointed, as he always was, that Loki didn’t jump at the voice speaking from everywhere anymore.

Tony nodded. “Right, sadness.”

“It is also ‘addicted’, not ‘miss'.”

“Thanks, J,” Tony rolled his eyes and could just  _feel_  Loki’s exasperation. Yes, he did know he programmed JARVIS to tell him every detail. It was still annoying. (Not that Tony would ever change it.)

“Wish me to play it?”

Tony snorted. “Yeah, no. I’m not Loki,” ignoring Loki’s half-amused, half-indignified look (come on, Loki wore it practically every day anyway), Tony continued, “So I’m looking into these rings and I think they’re right up your alley, y’know the type? Creepy, most likely magical, immensely powerful, will probably make Thor shit his pants. The most important part, of course.”

Loki smirked.

 

* * *

 

Later ― hours later ― Loki would explain why he came over with a shrug and a, “You’ll see,” which had never boded well for Tony’s health. Fuck, when had he ever cared about his health though? (And wasn’t it a sign of not caring that he was in a relationship -- and he used that word loosely and mostly because, while monogamous, Tony didn’t think either of them would admit it under threat of death -- with one of his  _enemies_. Who just  _happened_  to try to kill him every few weeks.)

“Do I get to know your  _genius plan,_ ” Tony really hoped Loki noticed the sarcasm (and he was certain Loki would, because Tony apparently  _knew Loki well enough to know that_ , which was scary by itself, Tony Stark knew someone intimately, that person being a villain slightly made it worse ― just slightly), “or do I have to wait for a few hours still?”

“What makes you think you’ll hear it today?” Loki asked, not glancing up from his tablet ( _Tony’s,_ that he claimed for himself and had never returned, not that Tony had actually asked for it, he was a  _billionaire ―_ though he didn’t know how much money he had, Pepper and JARVIS took care of Tony’s finances, Tony just knew that he was filthy rich and had enough money for his experiments still). He looked awfully comfortable, laying down on a table in Tony’s lab, one that Tony had cleared months ago, when he’d first realised that Loki would be coming over every so often and that he never had a place to sit on (because Tony was an  _excellent hos_ t and  _not_ because he wanted to get in the other’s pants), always just ungracefully (oh, who was Tony kidding, he was Loki, he would look graceful fucking stumbling down the stairs) sitting on the floor.

“You’d never come over today otherwise, sweetcheeks,” Tony pointed out, back to the schematics for the ring once again, wondering if he’d be able to force Loki to go out with him as Tony  _really_  wanted to eat something greasy. Wondered if Loki would buy the excuse that he couldn’t call takeaway (on excuse number thirty-seven he decided that, yes, Loki would absolutely notice, if he’d be against it though  _that_  Tony didn’t know).

Loki looked up, the amused  _look-at-this-ant_  look that Tony hated back again. He’d absolutely kicked Loki out of his lab in the past for that look. “Would you like to aid me with a heist?”

Tony blinked and wondered if Loki being blunt was a blessing or a curse, as that didn’t bode well for Tony’s health either. “Where to, Tom Cruise?”

Loki smirked (Tony wondered if it was the joke he’d made or just a Loki thing to do and decided it was more of the latter, though if Loki had seen Mission Impossible, Tony would be baffled out of his mind), “Your Fantastic Four is out of town currently, yes?”

Tony didn’t like where this was going.  _Except_  he kind of did. In his defence, it had been a very slow few weeks with a lack of explosions. Though… “Please never call them mine again. That makes me think of them as children and Johnny Storm is not a child I want to meet. Also Sue, knowing all the thoughts I’ve had of her, it would be weird as fuck. Actually, the thoughts of Johnny and Reed would be weird too,” Tony paused and, after a moment of thought, shivered, “and The Thing ― or does he prefer Ben? ― that one time.”

“I’d love to hear that story,” Loki paused for the smallest fraction of a second, “dear.”

Oh, no.  _Tony_  was the nickname one in this relationship. But he couldn’t bring it up or Loki would get that look on his face, the one where he didn't even hide his amazement at Tony’s continued existence. Tony was half-certain that one day that would be the last thing he ever saw, Loki deciding that he couldn’t continue to live anymore.

Sometimes Tony wondered if people were usually as okay with being killed by their significant other as he was. Guessed that they weren’t dating  _Loki_ (who  _still_  didn’t consider humanity worth his effort, despite  _dating a human_ ), so it didn’t count. Wondered what he’d do if it turned out that Loki was dating someone else and winced, imagining the headlines in the papers, “Tony Stark, the famous superhero Iron Man, slaughtered innocent person who did nothing wrong”. Pepper would strangle him.

“Don’t cheat on me so Pepper can have an easier life,” Tony muttered, ignoring Loki’s look (why were all of his looks always  _half-amused_ ), confusion didn’t suit Loki but fuck if Tony was going to explain.

“Anyway,” Tony shook his head, dissipating his anger at a person who (probably) didn’t exist, “yeah, the Four left for two weeks, I think Sue and Reed are getting married or something? Haven’t they done it already? I don’t know, man. Things are complicated over at the Four. I don't ask questions and they let me do tests on the shit they find.”

“Have you seen,” Loki paused, “a particular green gem there?”

“A gem?” Tony asked, though he already knew the answer, “what does it look like?”

Loki had never looked more deadpan in his life, Tony was certain. “Green.”

At Tony’s mirroring look, Loki continued, amused tone giving him away in the way his face didn’t, “The size of my palm, not yours, yours is too big.” Tony wondered when Loki took the time to compare their palm sizes. “The pattern on the stone changes depending on its user.”

“Reed has mentioned it but I haven’t seen it,” Tony shrugged.

Loki smiled, the mischievous one Tony had learned to both fear and be awed by, “Want to steal it?”

“Oh,  _hell fucking yes_.”

 

* * *

 

Loki had  _generously_  ― of course ― given Tony the job of making certain the Avengers wouldn’t interrupt their little “date” and, yes, Loki had in fact called it a date. Considering he was the one who didn’t even admit they were dating most days (not that Tony admitted it either, he just knew not to lie to himself better ― and, from what Tony understood, Loki had lied to himself and had been lied to about who he was for so long he knew nothing else), Tony was suspicious. You’d think Loki would at least  _admit_ to not knowing how to detain a bunch of heroes. Tony guessed it was a pride thing. Or not. Who knew with Loki? (Tony knew, Tony always knew.)

Tony didn’t even pretend to not know what Loki meant when he said, with the fucking hugest and smuggest smirk on his face Tony had ever seen Loki wear, “I’m certain you have  _ways_  to subdue them.”

On some level, Tony wished that he could prove Loki wrong, that he trusted his team without even a speck of apprehension. But, well, he designed the Hulk cage on the Helicarrier (and of course  _Tony_  built it, did you think that SHIELD could think of any ways to subdue Banner that  _didn’t_ include copious amounts of drugs?)  _despite_  already knowing that Bruce had excellent control from his files (of course he’d read the files, Tony wasn’t dumb enough to stab someone on a proofless  _hunch,_ though most would disagree ― it really depended on the hunch and the amount of evidence, really). Of course he’d take  _precautions_ and create tech to hold (and even catch or kill) his fellow teammates. He didn’t plan to  _use_  them but, then again, when did he ever? He didn’t plan ever to miniature the arc reactor tech (because of course he planned to  _use_  it, only not in himself or as clean energy but to power weapons of mass destruction, because that was the type of person he was back then ― still was?) either and look where that got him;  _alive_. Not really  _whole_  but honestly Tony couldn’t remember being whole anyway.  _Whole_  wa _s_  for people who weren’t rich geniuses with Howard and Maria Stark playing the role of parents.

Tony looked up from the schematics for Natasha’s cuffs (the trick was getting them a size even  _she_  couldn’t worm out of), glancing at the uppermost screen to his left, alerted to it by JARVIS’ ping (a safety precaution, so that Jarv could alert him without anyone else noticing; his AI had a total of forty-eight different pings -- it had started when Tony first created his AI and hadn’t chosen a voice yet, JARVIS had used pings then, just like DUM-E, Butterfingers and U still did). The screen depicted the hallway to his lab and Tony blinked, confused, as he watched Steve Rogers stare at the door to Tony’s lab, willing it to open. Tony wished he could say that it was the oddest part of the day but he  _had_  just agreed to help his enemy steal something from his allies.

Leaning backwards and closing the files on his screens, Tony said to the air above him, “Hey, JARVIS, let him in. Making Captain America stare blankly at walls for hours on end is not something I want Natasha to blame me for.” Just, y’know, helping a supervillain who had tried to kill them  _multiple_  times.

A few moments later, Steve Rogers entered the lab, looking as composed as he looked in the battlefield. He, despite his confidence, looked out of place in Tony’s lab ― Tony couldn’t help but remember that only Pepper, Loki (it wasn’t like Tony could stop the magical bastard ― okay, that was a lie, he could, but then he wouldn’t get laid as often), Happy, and Bruce (on his first tour) had ever entered ― and, really, the whole situation was just plain  _awkward_ (to Tony _, Steve_ seemed just fine). Tony wanted the other to leave already, just so he could breathe a little easier.

“Tony,” Rogers started, “we,” oh god, was it going to be a team speech? “the Avengers,” it totally was, Tony was going to die, “haven’t seen you much outside of missions. You don’t join us on the commonfloor and so we want you to join us in eating dinner.”

“That an order, Captain?” Tony joked, not moving from his position one bit, which Rogers seemed to dislike.

Rogers didn’t hesitate, “Yes.”

(The Avengers’ surprised faces at Tony going up for dinner?  _Priceless_. Almost worth the humiliation of being literally dragged from his chair ― ow, Steve, that fall  _hurt,_ except not really because Steven Rogers could control his strength all too well ― and towards the elevator.)


	2. some people seem to have an issue with

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “His lies were so exquisite I almost wept.”  
> ― Dave Eggers, _What is the What_

The plan that Loki refused to let Tony name and just called “the plan” like the unopportunistic asshole he was started a few days later, two weeks before the Fantastic Four came back from their maybe-honeymoon (why would all  _four_  go then though? Were they all dating each other? Tony wished that Reed had at least allowed the others to take at least  _some_  electronic objects with them so Tony could hack into them and finally understand what the fuck was  _going on_ ).

It started with Tony watching the cameras (they weren’t as much  _cameras_ as the walls themselves) that JARVIS controlled and humming along to the songs that JARVIS chose to play in the background, letting his AI pick the opportune times to lock down certain rooms, based on their schedules ― Tony was proud, the two assassins living with him felt safe enough in the tower that they started to have  _schedules_. (Communications fell thirty minutes earlier, when Steve first entered the gym for his training, which might even take so long that the heist would end  _well_  before Steve did, never noticing anything strange).

Natasha looked up from her laptop (having sat down from her own workout a few minutes earlier), probably realising that there was no way that a tower owned by a Stark would never  _not_  have WiFi and looked down at her phone, checking her phone’s signal. Tony knew that it would be zero, trusting Jarv to have done as he asked; no communications in  _or_  out, even the  _doors_  outside were all locked. With a frown on her face, not puzzled but  _puzzling_  (like the smart murderous spider that she was), she stood, moving towards the door, which was still wide open.

Tony grinned, excited to see how she’d react. Like how JARVIS had assumed based on previous tests or unpredictably? Never knew with Natasha. JARVIS had predicted that she’d go towards the elevator, moving towards Tony’s lab, which Tony thought was against her character but didn’t argue with JARVIS about, the AI was, well, an  _intelligence_ but he didn’t understand humans’ instincts ― not enough to predict them (yet, Tony was working on it). Natasha started moving in the direction of the elevator and Tony, to pass the time, asked Jarv to put the layout of the floor on one of the screens. Glancing at the layout proved that, yes, towards the elevator were the stairs (they didn’t lead to the ground floor nor to Tony’s lab), which Natasha, ultimately, took. Tony smiled smugly at the ceiling,  _Told you, J._ Natasha moved downwards on the stairs, planning to probably check up on the people working on the lower floors. Sometimes Nat was so caring, so human, Tony was almost surprised. She tried  _so_  hard to be good and do the right thing.

Still humming, Tony switched cameras, Natasha’s form being replaced, briefly, by Steve (still working out, the man was a  _machine_ ), before Bruce came up on screen, doing something in his own lab. A lab Bruce loved with his whole heart and would never forgive Tony for if he hulked out in once he realised that he was locked in. Yeah, Tony was not dealing with a betrayed Bruce Banner, he’d rather deal with a pissed of Black Widow (which he undoubtedly would).

“JARVIS, tell Bruce,” ah, to use the Hulk or to not? Hulk ruining his plan by getting out of the tower would be a  _disaster_. Tony had worked too hard to get where he was for  _that_. “Tell Bruce that I’m hungry and demand he makes his famous lasagna.”

On the screen, Bruce’s shoulders were shaking. Yeah, laugh it up, asshole. Tony wasn’t going to be the one who was going to make food for hours. “Mr Banner wishes to inform you that he’s not a butler.”

“Tell  _Mr Banner_  that he doesn’t get to argue and Sir Tony  _knows_  he’s not doing anything important.”

Bruce looked up from his work, looking at the ceiling and JARVIS spoke in time with Bruce’s lips moving, “Mr Banner wishes for Sir to stop watching him using my cameras.”

Tony huffed out, “Make certain that he goes up to make dinner,” before switching views and seeing Clint casually eat a sandwich in one of the building’s vents.  _Why_. Why did Tony live with these people.

“Barton,” Tony started, knowing that JARVIS would immediately get what he wanted and that Clint heard him (mostly because he looked up from his sandwich, not at all surprised at Tony having speakers and  _cameras_  inside his vents), “don’t get crumbs in my vents. I don’t need Hansel and Gretel to crawl out of there one day.”

Clint smirked, “Have sex in vents often?” Tony groaned, wishing that Clint wasn’t such an asshole. (Except not really, he liked Clint as he was. Liked all of the Avengers as they were, faults and all. Despite logic, he liked Loki as he was as well, liked the manipulating asshole who continued to ruin his day.)

“Please leave my vents,” Clint continued to eat in silence and Tony frowned, tapping his finger twice on the table and the camera that showed Clint dimmed, audio cut off from Tony’s end ( _thank you_ , younger Tony, for feeling compassionate when JARVIS didn’t have a voice and getting non-vocal commands in solidarity), “hey, J? How long is he there usually?”

“Agent Hawkeye,” oh boy, JARVIS was really pissed off at the crumbs inside his vents, huh? “spends approximately four hours in several connected vents every week.”

“How long has he been there so far?” Tony asked before he frowned, “switch the song, J, the mood doesn’t fit this one.”

JARVIS paused and Tony couldn’t help but feel a flash of concern, Jarv was never that slow (but he relaxed a moment later when he realised that his AI was being dramatic just because he could ― like creator, like creation, he guessed ― or maybe he was trying to find a song that Tony would think would fit the mood?), “Three minutes, forty-six seconds and counting, sir.”

A moment later, the song switched. “Thanks, JARVIS. We lock the vents that are near him but only if he’s trying to leave so he won’t notice the air currents move or whatever else spy bullshit? What do you think, buddy?”

“That has a 87.6 percent chance of success.”

“It’s above fifty,” Tony shrugged, “works for me.” Humming, Tony stood up, moving towards his suit ― the mechanical one, not the one he was wearing, gotta look nice when you deal with the devil ― with a skip in his step. “Oh, hey, Jarv, you know what to do when I die, right?”

Again, his AI paused. “Of course, sir.”

“I’ll try not to, don’t worry,” after flashing a grin towards the ceiling, Tony stepped into the suit and waited for the God of Mischief to teleport him (and Tony knew he would, Loki had never backed down from his swears, just worded them in a way that made them hard to go through with ― hard but not impossible).

 

* * *

 

 _Phase One ― Keep the Avengers distracted and find a way for them not to ruin the _fun  _later._

 

* * *

 

Tony hated teleporting a little less than he did caves (and that had to show just how much Tony hated it,  _Obadiah_  wasn’t that far up the list), hated the feeling Tony explained away as “his molecules rearranging themselves and then getting back together again in the right order”, hated that it felt like being submerged in water, with too much pressure, hated the total darkness that reminded him of space ― cold, cold, space, floating and then falling, emptiness all around, like a recreation of Tony’s heart ― and a huge part of him thought that Loki knew that, was using teleportation as a way to punish Tony for all the pain he’d caused. Except Loki wouldn’t care about that, why would he? No, no, Loki either used teleportation as a way to punish  _himself_ (but that was scarier, Tony and Loki’s phobias shouldn’t be that alike) or teleportation was like that for everyone.

Either way, it  _sucked_. Tony didn’t know how Harry Potter put up with it. In fact,  _fuck_  Harry Potter, Tony was half-certain Loki got inspiration for some of his spells from that series (Tony would never forget the day that the trio appeared in his workshop and thought he was a Death Eater, ah,  _good times_  ― fuck you, Loki), what if he took teleportation from there as well?

“I hate you so much,” Tony gasped out, doing everything in his power to not curl up into a ball and have a panic attack. Not now, not now, not  _now_.

Loki laughed in the background; Tony’s hearing was muffled but he would notice that sound anywhere. Ultimately, focusing on that was what finally got him out of his panic (everything in Tony’s life was ironic, wasn’t it?) and he blinked, staring at Loki, wearing the same armour he always did but with a smugger smile, and smiled in return, a sharp thing that Loki couldn't see (and that was for the better, really).

Glancing at his surroundings made Tony make a quiet, drawn out, “oh,” sound, as he would recognize Fantastic Four HQ anywhere. “Man, babe, didn’t think you could get us this far without tripping alarms.”

They weren’t in the vault but Tony had expected that, they were, however, in the living room. Tony had thought Loki would go for the safe option of outside or in the lobby. (He really should learn to not assume with this asshole, huh?)

Loki huffed, probably offended at the insult to his prowess or whatever vikings got offended at, really. Hell if Tony knew. (They thought that the only good way to die was in battle, Tony wasn't about to try to understand their upbringing.) After a few more moments of no comments from Loki, Tony grinned, instantly amused. “Oh, babe,” he cooed, “are you really giving me the silent treatment for that?” Loki didn’t answer: not from that then. He would have been more huffy if it’d been true. Shame. Tony would still milk it though.  _Of course_ he would, he was Tony  _goddamn asshole_ Stark.

“Hey, hey, babe,” Tony continued, already taking out his phone to deal with the HQ problem, “if you don’t speak in three seconds, you’ll be admitting I’m the greatest being ever known to every species ever.” Loki didn’t even glance at him. (Rude.)

Three seconds done and with no answer, Tony whooped, laughing. “Totally knew it too,” he bowed a few times, imitating the end of an Oscar speech he’d once heard one of his one-night stands say  _while they were having sex_  (it was so  _weird_  but let it be said that Tony Stark tried out everything once ― also them bowing while around him was  _amazing_ ), “thank you, thank you.”

He paused, tapping his phone a few times to start up the programs he’d previously gotten on the F4’s network, “I need some red roses, hey, Lokes, can you conjure some for me and throw them at me?”

Loki didn’t glance at him but he did do some weird motions with his hands, which was great. But instead of the handful of roses Tony’d been expecting, at least a thousand of them landed on him, scratching the paint job, which DUM-E had worked hard on (DUM-E wasn’t allowed to paint Tony’s suits anymore; it was a mismatch of gold and red in ways that didn’t even make sense but goddamn it, Tony was kind of proud in the way parents were supposed to be, he wanted to glue the whole suit to the fridge and put it on  _display_ ). “Hey, hey, hey! DUM-E did this paint job! Don’t break their poor heart!”

Loki paused and a moment later all of the roses were gone and Tony’s paint job was sparkling.  _Right_ , Loki had a soft spot for kids in general (and  _fuck_  anyone who claimed that Tony’s robots weren’t his kids, they absolutely were, created to be friends by a lonely genius and became kids and caretakers), Tony’d forgotten.

Tony shook his head, amused and turned his attention back towards the phone in his hand, humming a song he was half-certain Loki hated with a vicious passion. “Sir,” Jarvis spoke and Tony blinked, realising that, oh, yeah, still wearing the suit, he’d forgotten, “communications down at enemy HQ.”

“Not enemy,” Tony gently reminded his AI, “we’re borrowing something, is all. I didn’t change them to enemy status, did I?”

“You did not, sir. They will however be upset once they realise what you’ve done.”

Tony paused, shaking his head,  _oh, Jarv_. “So you changed them to enemy yourself.”

“It was the most logical option,” JARVIS explained.

Tony sighed, “Not attack on sight?”

“No, sir. Just allowed myself to start precautions on sight.”

“Good enough for me, J. Change it back after this is done, though,” Tony turned his attentions back to Loki, who wasn’t hearing a word of this conversation ( _in theory_ , Tony was still working on the limits of his magic).

“Of course, sir. As I said earlier; communications are down and I have control over their systems.”

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“I know, sir,” Tony snorted.

“Gumby!” Loki turned towards Tony not because he knew that Tony was talking about him (which he was) but because he was just used to nicknames that made no sense, which was a shame. Tony’s nicknames were always great. At least Loki realised Tony was talking about him though, instead of Steve (who never paid attention to the nickname unless he understood it, even if they were the only ones in the room).  _Natasha_ didn’t count, she always realised but she just didn’t like nicknames and refused to answer Tony unless they were in battle.

Shit,  _Natasha._ Tony swore. “JARVIS, buddy, please tell me you dealt with Nat somehow.”

“Agent Widow,” oh, wait, maybe JARVIS wasn’t just pissed off and changed the Avengers status to enemy too? Shit. goddamn it, fuck. That wasn’t part of the plan, Jarv. “is currently sitting on the stairs between the twenty-third and -fourth floors, I applied the cuffs you made when she started getting violent, trying to escape, which was before you left the building, sir. She appears to be plotting.”

Well, Tony wasn’t going to just get the shit beaten out of him by her, he was going to  _die_. What a way to go, he guessed, having pissed off the most dangerous woman (person? was there anyone who was more dangerous, more vicious, more vengeful than her?) on Earth.

Glancing at Loki, Tony couldn't help but think,  _Worth it though, absolutely worth it_.

“Right,” shaking his head, Tony turned his attention back to Loki, who was staring at him, curious, “we’re in.” He couldn't help but snort, remembering how hacking was portrayed in media. Loki looked faintly annoyed at that. Or maybe it was just Tony in general.

“Now,” Tony grinned the sharp thing from before, Loki still unable to see it but mirroring with one of his own, “you wanted something in their vaults?”

 

* * *

 

_Phase Two ― Infiltrate Fantastic Four HQ._

 

* * *

 

The Fantastic Four’s vault wasn’t even as big as Tony’s own (and not the Avengers, no, never that ― Tony couldn’t risk the rest of the Avengers handing SHIELD the artifacts he’d worked so hard to protect ― so they continued thinking that it was also theirs and Tony didn’t correct them, everyone lived happily), maybe the size of Tony’s bedroom ― which, Tony admitted, was larger than most, the perks of being rich. One side was covered in shelves, top to bottom, all filled with little knick-knacks they’d gotten from their villains; the other was for bigger artifacts that didn’t fit on the shelf. (Tony’s was much the same; Loki’s staff was on that side, something that Tony had never informed the god of.)

Loki turned immediately towards the shelves, either sensing that what he wanted was there (fucking  _magic_ ) or knowing its size, Tony didn’t really care. What  _he_  cared about was the small ring that seemed to taunt him from the shelf next to Loki. To take or not to take that was the question. Soon, the Four would come back, of course they would, and they’d learn of the break-in the moment they arrived, of that Tony was certain. In none of his plans did they  _not_  find out. Would it be safer to keep it there? Where the real Mandarin (Tony was certain of that, it wasn’t  _next,_  no, the stories he’d dug up painted M as a figurehead, a cult leader, and they’d had been moving their cult forwards for a long, long time, even when the Mandarin who Tony’d fought had acted, no, no, the real Mandarin was patient and they were wise) couldn’t find it? But Tony wasn’t so certain, of course he wasn’t, M could easily find it, couldn’t they (but was it safer with the Four, who didn't realise its power or with Tony, who did but was an enemy to who wanted it)? He couldn’t allow that to happen.

“Stark,” Loki laughed, an exhilarated thing that informed Tony of just how close Loki was to getting his precious gem, “see something you like?”

“You know actually,” Tony laughed back, more sharp than he expected and with a colder quality he didn’t remember having in it since the cave (sometimes he missed parts of that place, it wasn’t the torture or Yinsen or the sand that got everywhere or the people or the lack of booze or anything other than―  Tony had managed to shut down his emotions for a while, he could still remember Yinsen’s uneasy looks whenever Tony laughed, cold and bitter and so,  _so_  vicious, waiting for them all to burn, as he knew they would; he missed that, he missed how he was like before Rhodey, bitter with the world and  _oh s_ o ready to make it fall before him, missed it with a passion he didn’t expect; Tony didn’t miss  _the cave_ , Tony missed  _himself_  in the cave ― sure, he was weak for a while, sure he gave in but he also gave them hell for ever  _thinking_  of messing with Tony goddamn Stark and that was good enough ― some nights, it almost felt like it were the truth). “I think I do.”

Loki looked surprised when Tony betrayed him but, thing was, well, it had always been his plan to make the world fall before him. A god wasn’t much of a step down.

 

_Phase Three ― Make it all fall apart._


	3. the responsibility of being trusted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “By the time you swear you're his,  
> Shivering and sighing.  
> And he vows his passion is,  
> Infinite, undying.  
> Lady, make note of this ―  
> One of you is lying.”  
> ― Dorothy Parker

The Avengers weren’t that happy with Tony. SHIELD wasn’t that happy with Tony. Pepper and Rhodey weren’t  _at all_  happy with Tony (Happy, however, highfived him). JARVIS didn’t show any emotion other than relief at Tony’s continued existence and his robots didn’t even know that Tony had put his life in danger (again). The Fantastic Four had no idea what had happened, still on their honeymoon but Tony was certain that they wouldn’t be happy with him either.  Loki was… a lot of emotions but mostly indifferent, actually. He’d been shocked for a few long moments, looking at his hands in the cuffs Tony had created for him, stopping him from using magic (except Tony wasn’t  _a total monster_  and allowed Loki to shapeshift into one other form, the one he preferred that had boobs -- causing someone to have dysphoria was literally the farthest thing Tony wanted to do to  _anyone,_ enemy or not) and then he’d been amused for a long time and he’d jumped to confused and then to puzzling. After that he’d just not cared where the SHIELD agents were taking him.

“Stark,” Fury started, emotions shifting from furious to annoyed, “you aren’t a spy.”

Tony rolled his eyes, good ol’ Fury, “If it makes you feel any better, JARVIS is dealing with undoing the plots that he’s told me about, in confidence of course but in this day and age, is  _anything_  private or sacred?”

Fury jumped back to furious; jeez, man. Take a chill pill. “And what makes you so certain that the  _plots_  are not lies?”

“JARVIS checked them out, didn’t you, Jarv?”

“Of course, sir.”

Was there a word that was angrier than furious? Because Fury was definitely feeling it. “Look, man,” Tony glanced towards the rest of the Avengers, of whom Bruce was actually the angriest, though somehow managing to not be big and green -- impressive, “I’m just gonna tell you this; between us two bros.” Yep, Fury really needed whatever Bruce had. Was on? Tony didn’t discriminate, he’d probably tried them all anyway.

“There’s this device on our God of Manipulating Assholes that alerts Big Brother the moment he’s injured,” because Tony was an asshole, of course he was, but he’d never, ever let another being get tortured on his watch, not again. No matter who they were, Tony’d rather save their lives to kill them himself but he would never let that happen. Never torture. And  _especially not_  when it was aided by his own creations.

And then he’d walked away, before Fury could start making demands for Tony to “not be a traitor to his country” or whatever else threats Fury was fond of making. Tony tended to block him out.

The Avengers didn’t seem too fond of him right then either but it was either that or Pepper and Rhodey (why was he even  _there_?), who were angrily whispering and seemingly arguing, and Tony would rather pick the option where he lived to see the next day. (Happy had, of course, disappeared like the goddamn ninja he was.)

“Tony,” Bruce smiled, only slightly green, “I’m glad that you’re okay.”

“But?” Tony goaded.

“But you’re lucky that Hulk is fond of you.” Yeah, so he’d thought. Eh, it could have gone worse.

Clint narrowed his eyes, “You locked me in the vents.” Tony honestly couldn't tell if that was anger or calculation.

“To be fair, you shouldn't have been there anyway.” Yep, definately anger. Not in copious amounts but absolutely anger. Clint and Natasha, Tony knew, held the whole thing against him the least, they understood what it was like to betray someone to get results. How much was  _least_  though, that Tony wasn’t really certain of.

Steve frowned his disapproving frown, the one that made Tony think of Jarvis -- the butler Jarvis, not the AI -- and remember a childhood wishing Jarvis was his father instead, “What would have happened if you couldn’t contain him?”

Tony shrugged, “Died.” He didn’t mention that he would have died anyway, if he wasn’t such a paranoid fucker, that Loki would have betrayed him the moment he didn’t have a use for Tony anymore, would have killed Tony in that vault and let his dead body take the fault, fucking off to another universe for a while with his fancy stone. No hard feelings,  _babe_. (And there weren’t, because Loki had underestimated Tony Stark  _again_ , didn’t expect him to see through his manipulations, didn't expect him to be playing along, in the same way that the Ten Rings didn’t.)

Steve didn’t seem to like whatever Tony had just said (Tony honestly didn’t remember, he never remembered what he’d said that had forced him to think of the Ten Rings again), “And you didn’t tell us the plan so we could be back-up?”

Tony snorted and chose not to answer, deciding that they wouldn’t like that Tony refused to let anyone see him in such a position, no one would ever, ever watch Tony die again, no one would get that privilege, not to see him suffer so. The chance of them finding him dying if things went bad was too high, all too high.

Steve sighed, “Tony.”

“What can I say, Steve?” Tony smirked and could just feel Bruce’s apprehension, “never been a team player.” Except he was, he just wasn’t a team player towards people who could betray him, which was everyone but JARVIS, really. That was more JARVIS being a team player and Tony being okay with it but, really, did it matter? JARVIS was his own person as much as he was an extension of Tony.

Steve’s expression didn’t change. “If it helps, my will was all done and everything. The elderly care about wills, right?” Tony paused, “though maybe not when you know find out you aren't on it. Pepper, Rhodey and Happy are on it because, no offence to you guys, but they’ve been through more shit with me. For me.” Steve didn’t move a muscle. Fuck, it was making Tony nervous. If he was going to punch Tony, could he get it over with already? “Except my robots and Jarv. They can go with whoever they want to go with. That includes staying by themselves, JARVIS already owns a few homes that they could stay at.”

Maybe he should just… go towards Pepper and Rhodey, at least they’d just yell at him. Yelling was easy, Tony could handle yelling. Yeah, good plan, Tony. Retreat was always a great plan when it got you farther from an angry Captain America.

 

* * *

 

“I love you,” Loki had said, trying to manipulate Tony as he always had.

“That’s lovely to hear, dear,” Tony had answered, not at all lying; it was a nice boost to his ego. Every liar knew, all the good lies weren’t lies at all, just truths reworded or twisted. Tony had never once loved a god. (And that was an example, Tony didn’t love  _a god_ , for he had to believe that the one whom he loved was a god for that and Tony Stark was an atheist to the core. Knew that he couldn’t lie and cheat a true god as they knew all, couldn’t hurt or kill them. And he could do all of those things to Loki, which was why the alien still kept him around, because he couldn’t work him out, not yet. Tony didn’t mind -- the sex was amazing and the company was decent, despite the mutual attempts of fucking the other over that happened every once in a while.)

(Of course Loki had tried to kill him, he’d told Tony of most of his plans, only hints of full ones but Tony worked them all out, of course he had. Later, when Loki escaped from a SHIELD prison, he couldn't help but notice that Tony hadn’t touched the biggest of Loki’s plans; they were both too enchanted by their traditions for that -- Tony continued to bring Loki’s plans down in a blaze of glory and Loki continued them for both the way they brought chaos into the dull universe and because he  _could_.

And if they continued their relationship into it all, in all its unhealthy glory, well, no one noticed.)


End file.
